Okay, here is the disclaimer… I DO THIS, not the point of this post. This post is to perhaps open someone’s mind, even mine, to change! So no hate mail saying “BUT you did that last week”
Here we go. I have been telling my girls the last few years, “Just because you know it’s true, does not mean it should fly out of your mouth. ” I know your thinking, but uh sure it should. But, really should it?
Think about all the fights you have been in all the arguments, the one consistent thing was that you were trying to convince them that what you think is right, but what you probably don’t get in these situations and what we all miss, that is also what the other person is trying to do.
Think about it, Your view is your view, it’s a personal theory about subject matter based on your experience. Think about this, it’s the same for the other person in the argument. They are thinking the same mechanics you are. I know this is true because of this experience, and that solved problem, etc.
Also, if you find someone who is hot on the other side, or you are, they are NOT listening to you. They have but one mission, one purpose, one mission in that argument, to be right, to be the victor! Honestly, when we (and yes ME) are in this mode, we are NOT listening. So the point to consider is when you realize you are in this situation what do you do?
Best Case – stop and tell the other person you are in that situation and see if they will also calm themselves enough to have a lighter conversation
Next Best – make a joke and try and lighten the mood, sometimes this works others it makes more issues
What I do- run and hide and don’t engage in the conversation, to begin with!
All kidding aside, the best we can all do is try and realize that if two people are in an argument, try and find a middle ground.
And, honestly, sometimes you have to gauge the relationship, what matters most the argument? (continue on :/) Or the person? If it is the person you have to concede defeat EVEN if you are not wrong and let them have it. perhaps you can fight again under better terms and conditions.
I know not a really positive outcome but, you live and you still have your friend. Right?