Paradigm Shift, Really, Did I just go there? Yup, I did!

Your opinion could be right….

I saw a cartoon in the paper the other day that had an old man labeled 2021 walking out and a baby in a whirlwind trying to hang on. The caption said something to the effect of “hang on kid”. It was in the KC Star, probably on a political page. One thing I did in 2021 is get a print subscription to the paper. It is pretty expensive, but it is very worth it. It would pay for itself if I used the coupons which is what I intended to do, one of the many reasons I started taking the paper. Another reason was to try and get a full snapshot of what is going on.

So many times we watch the news and read the paper and we forget that these programs are the viewpoints of others. When someone is reporting the news they are doing it through the lens of their life. Their viewpoint. We all need to remember, that the viewpoint being offered might not be the one we really want with that being said, here is the following.

I have agreed with Anderson Cooper, with Tucker Carlson, with Abraham Lincoln, with Stonewall Jackson, with Maya Angelou (I tend to agree with her more than anyone except Pope Benedict), and so on. The point is that not every person is completely evil, nor are people completely good. We are all fallible human beings, prone to utter things based on things we have learned in our lives.

No, I do believe there is evil in this world, and I believe there are wonderful people too. I think the choices you make are evil or good, not you, yourself. So what is the point of this? Simple, our viewpoint is based on our life experience. If you find someone who has a different viewpoint than you do, you should ask them why they believe the way they do, and then actually sit and listen. More than likely if you had the life that person had, you would believe the way they do. But, you haven’t, true. You could also respect that person’s life.

So many times in this world we sit back and down others saying that they are wrong. Which they are wrong, from our point of view. Also, you are wrong from their point of view. That does not mean that you cannot listen and glean something from what they feel is true. You just have to want to. Most of us don’t. I don’t either most of the time if I’m honest. I like being right, I like having the knowledge, it feels well powerful. It really doesn’t mean I’m powerful it just means I know a lot. To all those I’ve acted superior to, I dreadfully apologize, and I concede you are right.

Maybe that is the point, to grow and understand. To realize that your viewpoint is not really the right one, maybe there is no right one. Maybe it is only an opinion with what is right, right now. Tomorrow with new information it might change. It makes me scratch my head and sit back bewildered asking “Are you kidding me?”

Maybe I do need to go to law school …lol

Paradigm Shift, Really, Did I just go there? Yup, I did!

And she grew

I looked out on my days, and saw that their were many. Many different kinds of days, some good some bad. But they were pretty even in distribution of good and bad. So why is it I recall more of the bad things than the countless good ones?

I think as a race humans focus on what stops us, what we trip on and those things that constantly get us down. Those things that keep us from enjoying the wonderful things around us. We literally say “Stop this is bad , now wallow in it” rather than the “Omg that’s bad get it away from me”. We want to understand where we went wrong, or were wronged so we can not feel that way again.

A lot of the time though, we get caught in that “wrong” we forget to learn. We sit down on the stump of pain and refuse to get up because we are afraid the next feeling or situation will be worse than this stump, and this stump did not kill us so why should we move? You don’t feel that way? It’s just me? Are you kidding me, come on you know you feel this way too.

It’s hard to get up, get over, crawl our of that disgusting pit of pain and heartache, but now that you know heartache, pain and the like you will seriously treasure and savor all the good relationships that come your way. You will hold on a bit tighter to those you have, those feelings you have , well as long as you let the pain and suffering go.

Pain and suffering are meant to teach us what NOT to do. They are only supposed to be felt BRIEFLY , not forever. I so miss this sometimes. I get down there and figure there is nothing else, no one else, and that life can never get better. But, I have a bunch of people and family around me who remind me just how wonderful life really is.

Lesson: Let pain be something temporary and small and something grasped then dropped, not something clung to as it is life.

Someday I’ll be a grown up, just not today =^.^=

COVID-19, Paradigm Shift, Really, Did I just go there? Yup, I did!

Bat Cap Crazy

I had a dream last night where someone I admired called me Bat Cap Crazy. I woke up with this unsettling notion about myself and, have been thinking about it ever since.

Am I crazy? Should I go get tested? The more I think about it the more I realize i’m not like anyone else, i’m quite unique. I think and understand things on a whole new level. Most of the time people i’m close to get me. (Or they love me enough to pretend that they do <3)

Others do not. And, I am beginning to understand today that, that notion is not about me. What it really is about is them. They do not have the mental space, are tired, or generally don’t care about “getting me”. And, that is very much okay. Because, I realize that there are eons of people in the world that i’m that way about. Doesn’t mean they are nuts. or weird, it just means I don’t have the strength to get them at this point.

Maybe next year i’ll have the mental space to “get” them and them me. But, right now I think we are still trying to hang on to life with cat claws. I read what I wrote about the virus last year, omg that was wishful thinking. All the people who have gotten sick my heart and bones bleed for them. I had serious delusions of grander, but that is okay a lot of people did. A lot of people hoped for the best and had the rug yanked out from under them. It will be okay, even if it’s not okay.

In conclusion I think we are all bat cap crazy at least once a day 😉

Paradigm Shift, Really, Did I just go there? Yup, I did!

Outta my way!

How many times do you get in the own way of your happiness? How about how many times to your trip yourself up on the things you over analyze? Or, then there is kneecapping yourself because you are afraid of what might be around the corner so you don’t even attempt to go around the corner?

As I get closer to my birthday, the more I think about where I wanted to go that I have never been. Last year I put out a list, and because of world events, I didn’t get anywhere. I have gotten a bit healthier, and I have taken better care of my mental health but I see so many places I can approve. Then I stop myself.

Who said I have to be perfect? Who said I have to know where I am going? Isn’t half the fun getting there? Why am I putting myself in a box to where I have to be specific. Why in the wide world can I not be my own mess and be okay with that? As long as I am healthy and reasonably happy isn’t that what the goal of life is? To be as good as you can be? To strive for better BUT! not to overwhelm yourself to the point that you are only concerned with being perfect and you miss how wonderful you are as an individual.

Those things that make me think and wonder why in the H E double LL I do this to myself.

Bleh, time for a plot twist and a paradigm shift!

Paradigm Shift, Really, Did I just go there? Yup, I did!

Rawr… I’d say I have been busy but…

That’s a lie, or is it? I have been very fortunate enough to keep my day job and work from home. I’d like to think that i’m talented and good at what I do, which I am, but I am also extremely, EXTREMELY lucky.

What have you been up to lately? I know at the beginning I was all like running the numbers and trying to convince myself that this pandemic was really nothing to worry about. Now, yea experience tempers us doesn’t it? We look back and see how naive were, or are. We understand that what we thought was tradition, or history, sometimes is a brand of hate.

What do you do with those things that have wonderful memories but are based in hate and oppression? Do you get rid of them? Change everything? Or do you keep the reminders around to remember the lesson? Such a double edged sword. Myself I do not do hate in any form. I accept everyone as they are. Everyone has a level of f upness. I’ve also noticed lately that i’m a hippie. Bohemian, flower loving, etc and so on.

anyway much love from your strange duck,

COVID-19, Paradigm Shift, Really, Did I just go there? Yup, I did!

What I tell myself

When I was young and going though hard things, I told myself to get up, and educate myself. So, I read and I got though those hard things and grew up. About 6 months ago, I decided my body was a mess. I got on a treadmill and started running 3 miles a day, then switched to swimming a mile and a half. I would get to that point where I would be down, and wanting to give up. I would visualize myself crying laying down wanting to quit. Then I would imagine myself, my soul yelling at the crying figure GET UP, GET UP, you can do this. YOU ARE ALMOST THERE, GET UP. And, my little crying self would get up and finish and feel so much better for doing it. Silly Story? Perhaps.

Isn’t this how we all feel, like giving up, blaming everyone else for this mess? Why not instead of pointing fingers we GET UP educate and go on? It’s hard, damn right, anything else would not be worth it. You can lay in the ditch and scream and point fingers but, you will have to get up eventually and educate yourself. Why not now? Sure sitting in the ditch is easy, but, it might kill you. Don’t do that!

GET UP!!!

COVID-19, Cuteness, Really, Did I just go there? Yup, I did!

Somedays…

There are those days where you get out of bed with great determination and it lasts, and lasts and lasts. Oh wait, you either. Yea I know right! While today was not in the 8th circle of hell it sure the hell felt like we were in Egypt during a plague. Oh wait, we are in the middle of the plague but, we cannot see Egypt from here …… damn….. Maybe, I should start again…

You know when you get up and you think it’s going to be a great day? Oh right, me either.

Okay, realism. You knew you were going to wake up. HA! I got one positive thing there, let’s go for another. You are alive reading this, HA there is two. For the third, how about I am really grateful that you did take time out of your day to read this. I don’t know how many or how few actually read blogs like mine, I don’t give you anything, or make promises. I just try to give some enlightenment, or share what i’m thinking at the time. So, I’m glad you are here, wait, let me rephrase, I’m glad you are over there ;).

Drinks soon!

Paradigm Shift, Really, Did I just go there? Yup, I did!

I miss my friend…

You know I have a friend of mine who has gone through some bad times latley. Let me tell you about them. First, he was born to a poor family. A religious family, but very poor. He learned and he grew up. This friend of mine thought that people would be better off if they just loved each other. If they were just, you know decent. That is the kind of life he leads. He just wanders and touches peoples lives trying to make them just a little better. It’s just who he is. Well, the town he lives in is in the Bible Belt and they have very strict rules of what you can and cannot do, and they expect everyone to live by them, if not you get in serious trouble. They still have no stores open on Sunday, they all just go to church and go home.

My friend is not like that, he wants to help people no matter what day of the week it was. He pulls people together to work on Sunday. This church hates this idea and they have started to plot against him. My friend doesn’t seem to care he just keeps doing what he does. Helping people and loving them. No one can get him to understand that the church is out to get him, my friend is so unconcerned with the trouble he is in.

Well this past Friday, the church got with the local sheriff and arrested the man. While he was in custody, he was beaten and beaten badly. He was whipped and spit on, mocked and made fun of. The church leaders were a part of this abuse and condoned it. They were so sick of my friend trying to change things, especially on Sunday. In the end, they killed him. His broken, bloody, welted, ripped body was given to bury. No human being should ever have to endure this kind of torture. My friend did. I miss him so much. I can still hear him talking in my ear. He says, “Just love them. They need it more than anyone else.” He’s right of course these people who killed my friend need love.

My friend died because he loved someone other than himself. My friend died because he cared about someone else’s suffering. My friend died because he cared more about loving someone than the “rules” that would stop something as great as love.

It’s not fair, but then again life isn’t fair is it?  As I ask, “Are You Kidding Me?”, the question is, have you heard of my friend? Do you know who he is?

Really, Did I just go there? Yup, I did!

If you are going to ride . . .

Oh yes let’s talk about driving. Specifically this evening I would like to tell you of an incident that happened this morning. I had pulled off the exit ramp to make my turn to go to work. I was stopped and, I looked up in to my rear view mirror.

Do you know what I saw? A man’s nose hairs. I kid you not, this van was so close to my back bumper I could see his nose hairs in my rear view mirror, true story. Okay, well maybe not all his nose hairs but I could make out every detail on his face. Fact was he was too close, and you know what that made me think? “Are You Kidding Me?”, “Going to fast much?”

It’s monday new course and this is all I have for today 😉

Really, Did I just go there? Yup, I did!

You made that decision…

Let me tell you the situation. Just… let me TELL you! I was having a hard day, things were starting to close in and I was feeling just a little bit, stressed. I was driving in my car, listening to the plight of the teenager, and how difficult life is for them. I was listening to how school is hard, and how relationships are trying.

-insert eye twitch-

I began to tell said nameless teenage daughter who will remain nameless, that I too have school and I am going to school with student loans. Said nameless child said these words to me, “You made that choice.”

-insert blink-

I would like to say that it ended there, nope it continued. “You made the choice to wait until your kids were grown to go to school . . .”, she continued however I could not. My mind was reeling. “Are You Kidding Me?”. Well, that really was not what I was thinking but I am trying to refrain from using profanity, as one other daughter has expressed she does not like that type of language. Anywho, back to the matter at hand.

I took about five breaths before speaking. For the simple fact that I was prepared to channel my mother and knock said nameless child though her next three lifetimes, but be proud, I did not. I just sat there and thought. And, answered that question. “Yes, I did!” I did put my education and everything that I wanted to accomplish as a adult on hold for my kids.

I guess what got me was that those 4 words felt like a punch to my soul. It felt like , “You didn’t have to”, “No one asked you to”, you get the idea. And, she was right. No, I did not have to do what I did, but I did. Sure this child and I had a long Come to Jesus, talk about why she said what she did, and how it made me feel. And, how what I said made her feel and why I said what I did. Because, it seems that what I had said to her made her feel like she was unimportant.

We both ended up coming away with a better perspective of how the other felt. Our communication is a lot better after this incident. We still have screaming matches, we still bicker, we are WAY too much alike for everything to be hunky dory 24/7, but we are friends, now. It’s a work in progress to make friends with your adult children of whom I have three. It’s not easy and, even when they are adults you still feel like you fail them everyday, but it’s so worth it.

My mom always told me, I cannot be your friend I’m your mom. While I get why she said this, I have never agreed with it. Your best friends, those who really care for you, are the first ones to pull out the mother attitude and tell you about yourself. They are the ones who care about you enough to tell you the truth when no one else will. I love friends like these. Do you?