Depression

Let me just face this, I have it. I have had it for a very long time.

It is not that I don’t have a blessed life I do, it’s just that…. Well, I have no idea what it is. I know that I had some trauma in my life, but doesn’t everyone? I have had some pretty gory stories in my past. That is just it, it’s the past. But, sometimes those feelings just rear up and smack you right in the emotions like Beth Dutton with a pair of brass knuckles. It just hurts, you don’t know from where or what you just know it is.

People ask you “what is it” and it’s the worst because that is not a question you can answer sometimes, This is sometimes, this is me. I just know I’m down. And, I’m doing everything I can to pull myself out of it. Hugs, outings, rest, and just being alone. All things that help. But, one thing I’m doing my best not to do is get mad.

This is how I USED to deal, get mad bark, scream, fight anyone who tired to help me. I always thought that this is something that I should be able to take care of on my own. But, it’s not. When you realize that you don’t have to, that there are people who will just be with you, the world changes.

No longer am I a grouch, I am just me. I am that person who just needs to hang back and, be however I am feeling. I GET to be down, it’s fine, as long as it does not last forever. I get to be weepy, as long as it’s not everyday. It’s when those become every single day, help needs to be sought out.

You can be down and not out. I am reminded of the saying, you are only out if you do not get back up. So hang loose make sure you are okay then sister … GET BACK UP. And, if I ever forget remind me…..