I am reading a book, and it’s made me think. What stuff do we do because we feel we have to? How many times have you not chased a dream because you were too comfortable where you were? Moreover, how many times have you put someone else’s happiness before your own, just to keep the status quo?
While it is very true that relationships are a plethora of dance steps to and fro, they shouldn’t be a one-person number. If you find that you are the only one making the moves and the other person is not even on the dance floor, that is not a relationship. You are a spectacle to me someone else lazy.
When decisions are based on making other people like you and/or love you, you lose yourself. You will have nothing else for you. This is true of any relationship you are in. If you are always the one venting, whining, and frustrated there is a problem. The reverse is also true if you are the one who is listening, bailing out, or trying to talk sense into someone, bleh!
My ride or die knows that if they act a fool, I’m not going to placate it I’m going to call it out, and the reverse is true. It’s okay to have a moment or a bad patch. But, when that bad patch literally uses up all the juice in someone else, that is not cool. You are supposed to recharge your BAE, and them you. If you see yourself as someone who is consistently negative or you are unsure if you are being toxic, ask! A good friend will tell you nah, you’re good, a great friend will tell you, “hell yea, stfu”, a BFF will tell you, hell yea you’re needy but, I get it let’s solve it. Then they grab a bat and skip beside you chanting “Someone’s gonna git it”.
All kidding aside, most people don’t want to be a co-dependent friend, most people don’t realize they are. Some feed off it, and others look to manipulate this kind of relationship. But, generally, we just get to the point where we feed off the comfort someone else provides. We don’t even stop to understand that they need comfort too. Unless you are a narcissist you don’t do this intentionally. It feels good to be loved and understood by others. Just remember others need the same from you.
Oh my point, yea don’t be a negative nancy, or a walking carpet. In whatever relationship you find yourself in, make sure as much as they support you, you are supporting them.
Love and butterfly kisses,
me 🙂
PS I’m thinking about the first two questions, and just realized I only expounded on the third.
PPS the book making me think is “Things We Never Got Over” by Lucy Score, it’s got language and a bit of sex, beware.
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