Really, Did I just go there? Yup, I did!

If you are going to ride . . .

Oh yes let’s talk about driving. Specifically this evening I would like to tell you of an incident that happened this morning. I had pulled off the exit ramp to make my turn to go to work. I was stopped and, I looked up in to my rear view mirror.

Do you know what I saw? A man’s nose hairs. I kid you not, this van was so close to my back bumper I could see his nose hairs in my rear view mirror, true story. Okay, well maybe not all his nose hairs but I could make out every detail on his face. Fact was he was too close, and you know what that made me think? “Are You Kidding Me?”, “Going to fast much?”

It’s monday new course and this is all I have for today 😉

Really, Did I just go there? Yup, I did!

You made that decision…

Let me tell you the situation. Just… let me TELL you! I was having a hard day, things were starting to close in and I was feeling just a little bit, stressed. I was driving in my car, listening to the plight of the teenager, and how difficult life is for them. I was listening to how school is hard, and how relationships are trying.

-insert eye twitch-

I began to tell said nameless teenage daughter who will remain nameless, that I too have school and I am going to school with student loans. Said nameless child said these words to me, “You made that choice.”

-insert blink-

I would like to say that it ended there, nope it continued. “You made the choice to wait until your kids were grown to go to school . . .”, she continued however I could not. My mind was reeling. “Are You Kidding Me?”. Well, that really was not what I was thinking but I am trying to refrain from using profanity, as one other daughter has expressed she does not like that type of language. Anywho, back to the matter at hand.

I took about five breaths before speaking. For the simple fact that I was prepared to channel my mother and knock said nameless child though her next three lifetimes, but be proud, I did not. I just sat there and thought. And, answered that question. “Yes, I did!” I did put my education and everything that I wanted to accomplish as a adult on hold for my kids.

I guess what got me was that those 4 words felt like a punch to my soul. It felt like , “You didn’t have to”, “No one asked you to”, you get the idea. And, she was right. No, I did not have to do what I did, but I did. Sure this child and I had a long Come to Jesus, talk about why she said what she did, and how it made me feel. And, how what I said made her feel and why I said what I did. Because, it seems that what I had said to her made her feel like she was unimportant.

We both ended up coming away with a better perspective of how the other felt. Our communication is a lot better after this incident. We still have screaming matches, we still bicker, we are WAY too much alike for everything to be hunky dory 24/7, but we are friends, now. It’s a work in progress to make friends with your adult children of whom I have three. It’s not easy and, even when they are adults you still feel like you fail them everyday, but it’s so worth it.

My mom always told me, I cannot be your friend I’m your mom. While I get why she said this, I have never agreed with it. Your best friends, those who really care for you, are the first ones to pull out the mother attitude and tell you about yourself. They are the ones who care about you enough to tell you the truth when no one else will. I love friends like these. Do you?

Really, Did I just go there? Yup, I did!

Don’t take it personally….

First of all, “Are you kidding me?”! Wait, wait, “Try not to take it personally.”, excuse me while I roll my eyes a few times. Let’s just look at this and maybe we can reason this out.

A person you don’t know personally, have no contact with has been having a bad day, week, year, existence, whatever. You happen upon this person. The only thing you do is look at this person, and the damn breaks. First it’s a twitch, you see it coming, and then KA-BLAM!! Profanity out of the devil’s own play-book, and then some that you are just sure they made up comes flying out of their mouth.

First you sit there stunned, not sure what to say.  Then slowly as it keeps coming, and you realize that they are calling you all those things, one of two things happens. One, you blink to yourself, and say “Oh no, they didn’t!” and then it’s on. Or, you continued sitting in silence while you inwardly hope that they get a hold of themselves and apologize. This might last a few sentences, then all bets are off and you revert to choice one. Unless you are in customer service, then stunned silence is your bedfellow. (yup, I am going there!)

In customer service you get paid to make people happy, give the best possible solution, answer questions, etc, and so on and so forth. You get the idea. I’ve been in this business for a very long time. And, I will tell you something. Don’t take it personally, is a motto. You have to, no matter how inwardly you want to extend your hand and just.  . . (insert wonderful happy blissful mental image here). But, you don’t have to take it inside you. If you do then you are the one who might flip out. I’ve flipped out on people and I’ve been the one flipped out on.

My point is this, you are a human being and you are wired to look out for yourself. You are wired to not want to put up with any of this, to not want to stand for it. It’s a perfectly logical reaction.  So rather than go with the premise, “Don’t take it personally”, how about, “don’t let someone’s attitude define you”, as the wonderful Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” You have a choice, and you know, you will make bad ones, you will make good ones. Sometimes, you will take the higher path, that’s cool. And, then you sometimes will take the worst path. When you do, as soon as you realize what your doing, hush. take a few breaths, and take it from there.

I still say it’s impossible NOT to take it personally, but you can choose not to react badly to it.

 

Really, Did I just go there? Yup, I did!

Chain Letters

When I was younger, okay when I was young (I’ve said it). I received a letter in the mail (yes, snail mail). The only part of it I remember was, “Copy this letter and mail in the next two days or you will meet and untimely end”. I thought self, “Are they kidding me?”, myself said ask your momma.

So I toddled off and asked my momma about this letter I got. You know what she did after she stopped laughing at me? She told me to tear it up, that I would meet my end when it was time to meet my end and no letter was going to stop it. Good advice right? I did tear that letter up, after a week of safe keeping.

Well….. FAST forward to my facebook feed, (see you knew where I was going with this didn’t you?) and what do you find? Share this, repost that, no one will like this, no one will like that. It’s gotten to be a big dare. I truly think that there are those people in the world who are petrified not to re-post something. I think that they sit there thinking, “If everyone else likes this and I don’t does that mean people will think I hate it?” I participated in it last night myself. Everyone is talking about female sexual abuse, and posting #MeToo. Well it applied to me, and I didn’t not want to participate (yes, I realize it’s a double negative, maybe a triple), and I wanted the world to know that they were not alone that it was ME TOO. Oh Boy, I sense a pattern. Even if it is a GOOD cause, even if it is a JUST and wonderful meaning, it’s the same thing. Be a part of the crowd, blend in. Err, umm stand up and be counted (oh boy :-/),

It’s the same thing as a chain letter. Your either afraid not to, or you think what can it hurt? Yup, been there myself. Well been, I try not to enable bad facebook feeds anymore, after all we all have to do our part. Starting now right, after all it’s good to have goals. But, I will be honest, I will probably jump in there again to be apart of something that strikes my chord, hits my heart, or in some other way pulls me to act. Wouldn’t you?

(And no I’m not knocking the #MeToo campaign, I do believe in it very much, but if the cliche fits, own it kinda thing)